The Single Woman Stigma Needs To Die

I’ve only ever been in a real relationship with 2 people (2 and a half if you count long distance). I came out of those 2 relationships thinking I wasted so many years of my life. I kept holding on and made so many excuses for their bad behavior (He cheats because it’s something he’s getting out of his system; he’s dragging me down because he is lost). Why? Because my culture taught me that a strong woman should silence her pain to help elevate the ego of the man.

It took many terrible first dates and encountered many fuckboys later for me to realize that I have no energy for this shit. I don’t need another stranger to ask me “Who hurt you?” as if my willingness to be in a relationship depends on how 1 man treated me, when really it’s that I haven’t met anybody who is capable of loving me the way I want to be loved. I no longer feel like I wasted years of my life being stuck in those terrible relationships. Because if it was not for that experience, I would not have discovered patience and my self worth.

The single woman stigma needs to die. I refuse to rush my heart and risk my peace so I can have what society considers a “healthy adult life”.

Dating in our generation really sucks, but it’s okay to be alone for awhile. Get to know yourself more before you let someone else in. Love yourself in ways no one has loved you before. Work towards loving your life so much to the point where being single does not scare you anymore. You are in no obligation to mend anybody’s insecurities and broken ego.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.